The Final Solution?

The Pox on Californians! . . . . After that a thousand more on the French! The bane of my gardening experience Slugs, those slimy creatures that gobble mostly prized plants, my Hosta collection, and expensive lilies, were usurped several years ago by Snails from France via California. They proliferated like crazy, then hopped a ride on nursery stock headed for the Pacific Northwest where they found the climate even more to their liking. Slugs and Snails are one and the same family except snails climb making them doubly obnoxious garden pests. Yesterday I found them feasting on the new shoots and buds of my favorite Rose. I even found them climbing my "North Pole" apple trees. My normally organic garden is carpeted with Cory's Slug Killer. Forget the organics. They're not working. Woe is me. This shouldn't be happening in August. On the other hand, this fellow might have the perfect solution. Garden Snail Risotto:. . . ."And into the pan they go. Reluctantly ignoring their silent snail screams, I boil them gently for ten minutes. Rather strangely, the water turns yellow, but I can’t find any reference to this on the Internet - I’m hoping it’s not some kind of toxic gastropod secretion, but only history will tell." Yum.